Wood You Believe It?

I’ve been questioning a lot of things over the past couple of years, who to vote for in an election, why people say ‘at the end of the day’ at 9am and most importantly why am I still single? Unfortunately I may have just answered that last question in the previous two sentences.

Religion, it’s a funny old thing, I respect a person with beliefs, I even applaud Jehovah’s Witnesses’ who constantly have the ordeal of having doors slammed in their faces. What I do have an issue with is the asking of the same old boring question of ‘Do you believe in God?’ At the end of the day, there is no right or wrong answer; it’s just a person’s belief, however, I do think there are religious based questions that just need asking.

Adam and Eve, John the Baptist and Jesus Christ are some biblical characters that most of us, if not all, are aware of. This blog doesn’t concern the fore-mentioned biblical figures and therefore this paragraph at the moment has no relevance to any type of point I’m trying to make. The man in question, that has given me a headache throughout the day, is Noah.

Noah, in case you didn’t know, was instructed by God to build an ark, not just any old boat but literally one that would make the titanic look like the size of your rubber ducky nestling in a somewhat suicidal state at the edge of your bath. Noah was warned by God a flood was coming, I’m not talking about your Sunday afternoon downpour but an earth shattering blast of water which could rule out all mankind.
God, being the reasonable One that he is, told Noah ‘I don’t want all these animals dying, go get on your bike and save one of every single species there is.’ A few months later, there was this massive wooden ark and a procession of animals that the London Zoo could only dream of.

Right, clipboards at the ready, lions check, elephants check, geribils ch- oh go on in you get- check, termites ummmmmmmmm. Now I’d understand if the whole Noah and the ark story was an example of what you can achieve with a lot of hard work, but there are some, including my own mother, who believe in the story as fact. My original question was how could you let a woodpecker in? Surely he’d just destroy the wooden machine of an ark. After what must have been a strenuous time for most of my family and friends, having to listen to the ark ramblings of me, I was answered, why would you need to put birds in, they can fly.

Three hours later, I have finally thought about an animal of which no one has been able to give me an answer too, TERMITES. If you were looking for any type of answers from this blog piece, I apologise. If you can enlighten me in any shape or form, or even have an ark related query, it would be a pleasure to hear from you.

Sean Downs